Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
