Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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