I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
