Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i think i just lost a toe
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
