What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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