i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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