If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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