You can't motorboat a personality
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
