If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
