you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
