So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
