Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Randomize
