watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
