erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
