Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
