we have officially lost it.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
