oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I pour the whiskey from now on
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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