Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
