Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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