Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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