The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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