Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize