I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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