Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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