Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
