Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
