we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
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