Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
