I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
