I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
