we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
