i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize