I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I have fence marks all over my body
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
