she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
