you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
