somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The feeling are messing with the penis
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
