Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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