It's Friday. Sex?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
