Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
