Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
