these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
