Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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