Me too!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
