Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
