If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
