We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
