My balls are so social today.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
whose parrot is this?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
