her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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