Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She even gives head with a lisp.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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