I didn't shave. On purpose
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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