it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize