Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
